Nix might have been five or six years old the day she came home in tears from Sapling Society. In what passed for a group activity school for her age of youngsters had made drawings that day. They had been asked to draw themselves with their mommy and daddy, or daddy and daddy, or mommy and mommy, or mommy, mommy and daddy (no judgement) and what made them each happy.
The other children has used swaths of the 100% recycled newsprint paper and as many crayons as possible to make lavish and painfully bright colored pictures of happy groups of people with houses, toys, sports and games. Nix drew herself, a fence at the edge of the compound and a kitten on the other side of the fence. The kitten made her happy when she petted the soft black fur through the fence and played with string. Nix had asked to bring the kitten home, but Ed and Alice told her it was a lot of responsibility and maybe she could have a kitten when she was older.
As Missy Joy walked around the gazebo, she talked to each happy little flexible sapling about their drawing and helped them label some of the less clear objects, like a brown lump on a table meant to be meatloaf but looked rather a bit like a pile of excrement. Nix was coloring in the grass on the hill beyond the fence in many colors of green, because she always saw it as a patchwork of colors and not just one green.
"Phoenix..." Missy Joy hesitated. "Where are your mommy and daddy in your picture?"
With dark and soulful eyes, Nix gazed up at her "Missy Joy, I don't have a mommy or a daddy."
"But Phoenix, I've met your family. I know your mommy and daddy." Missy continued, still trying to hold a gentle smile on her face through her confusion.
"Missy Joy, I have an Ed and I have an Alice. They said that those are their names and I should always call things by proper names or I would be..." Nix seemed to search for the rest of the phrase. "robbing them of their personal right to self-identity and forcing them to conform to societal norms that are bullshit." Nix finished in a single breath, hoping that she had remembered all of the right words and all in the right order.
"Oh, dear. Yes, I see. Um. Beautiful picture dear. The grass and wildflowers are really pretty." Missy tried to sound unconcerned and pleased with her pupil's work. She wasn't certain she had managed either but Nix returned to coloring and she padded away.
At the end of the day, the Sapling Society took their drawings inside the Mess Hall and hung them up on the walls so that the whole commune could enjoy the elementary but adorably sweet art. Nix proudly hung up her picture which showed her house and herself playing with the kitten at the fence, the tall marijuana plants behind the house and the rolling green hill outside the compound fence.
A few other Saplings noticed and began staring at Nix's drawing, trying to understand. One child piped up and asked Nix where her mommy and daddy were, and Nix repeated her response that she had neither, just an Ed and Alice. The other children looked either confused or started to laugh. The laughing ones were the ones that made Nix's stomach feel all whirly like soda and too many cartwheels. "Phoenix, you are so dumb you don't even know what parents are. Your mommy and daddy are Alice and Ed and my daddy says they smoke too many drugs and that makes them stupid."
Missy Joy noticed the knot of children and tried to walk as quickly as possible to cut off what might be unkind words. She should have walked faster. As she arrived, the children were laughing except Nix who was looking balefully at the ground. When she lifted her tear streaked face she whispered "but they asked me to..". Missy could not get the children to stop laughing fast enough in her class of only positive comments and uplifting messages. The rules of their school forbade her from telling the children they were nasty little brats and mean as their parents even when it was true. Separating the children and making each go stand by their own picture helped regain order.
Nix never moved and had just looked back down at the ground. She turned back to her picture and carefully removed it from the wall, peeling off the tape with great care so the paper was not damaged. She rolled the brown paper up like a tube and walked out of the Mess Hall, even though Missy Joy asked her to please come back for the apologies. Nix kept walking.
As she opened the door at home, Alice's eyes widened at the state of her daughter. Nix wasn't given to weeping or tantrums and Alice wasn't even sure what to do.
"Phoenix bird, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Alice asked tentatively, not sure if this was how you dealt with tears.
Her only child answered her with the words "Because I have no mommy and daddy". She set down the rolled picture on the coffee table and did not break stride. In her room she changed into not-Sapling clothes and walked back out the door just moments later. Alice sat on the couch looking at the lovely drawing that she could not imagine had caused this strife.
Phoenix Alexandria MaryJane Verity Kobesky curled up on the grass beside the fence and tapped the fence with a rock a few times. Just a few minutes later, her only friend, a tiny black kitten came racing over the hill and tumbled down most of the other side in her excitement. The kitten rubbed herself all over the fingers that stuck through the fence and even licked them. Her girl was not playing the same way she usually did and the kitten wanted more. The poof of black fur turned away and ran along the fence line, out of Nix's sight. She cried even harder as her best friend just left her on the grass.
Nix rolled onto her back and just stared at the overcast sky, unsure how to make her tears stop. Finally, she was able to quit the crying sobs and hiccoughs and get herself to just eye leaking sadness. And that was when it hit her. Literally.
A tiny black kitten landed on her chest using a force that should not be possible for her mass and then screeched her joy directly into Nix's face. Over the years, the kitten screech would mature into a screaming yowl that could stop a heart or wake you from the soundest sleep. The kitten and Phoenix played happily on the grass. There was tumbling, screeching, pouncing and more than a bit of falling over.
As the day dimmed to sunset, Nix made a few decisions in her head and nodded to herself. She picked up the kitten and marched home. When Nix arrived she observed Missy Joy leaving with Ed and Alice standing on the porch. Approaching, her parents rushed toward her but she put her hand up to stop them.
"No." Nix said, halting them. "I am sad and angry and I don't want hugs right now. I would like a set of encyclopedias and school books. Real school books. I am not going back to the Saplings and I can learn faster this way. I am keeping this kitten and her name is Nocta. I am big enough for the responsibility and will take care of her. I can do more chores so we can buy things kittens need."
Phoenix then walked right past her parents, tears still in the corners of her eyes. She did not like angry and sad, especially together. She took two bowls, a box, an old newspaper, scissors, a chunk of chicken from the fridge, and calmly proceeded to her room and shut the door.
After cutting up the chicken and filling the other bowl with water, Nix shredded the newspaper and filled the makeshift litter box. After tiny Nocta had eaten and drank her fill, she started looking around the room. Nix picked her up and set her in the box. After a brief game of jumping out and being placed back inside, Nocta scratched at the newspaper, performed her evening toilette and then hopped out of the box. Nix set the kitten on the bed while she put on her pajamas and then climbed in beside her best friend. It had been a long day and Nix fell asleep quickly. Nocta curled beneath the girl's chin and closed her eyes, purring softly.
A few hours later, the door creaked open as Alice and Ed peeked in. As Alice made to enter the room to fiddle with the comforter and do something motherly, the kitten's eyes opened slowly and she let out a low warning hiss. Alice backed up and left the room, looking over at Ed once the door was shut.
"Well, we kind of deserve that." Ed whispered sadly. Alice responded "I didn't realize parenting would be so hard." Quietly, they padded off to their room.
In Nix's bed, Nocta seemed to almost smile as she let her eyes slowly close. No one would hurt her girl so long as she could help it.
7. Piñatas
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