Fruit Rats

The orange grove is ancient, twisted. Trees bend and bow beneath the weight of vines and slow rotting fruit in the fetid heat, dropping their unwanted bounty into the weeds where the rats stir.

They remember when the food was plentiful, when the fruit reflected back an orange kaleidoscope in their darkling eyes. Now, there is lean hunger and scabbed flesh, but from the edge of their decaying field they can see the lights of porches, houses, all beckoning with plenty.

The fruit of these groves will be different and might squeal as they slip in through the open windows with sharp teeth and hunger, but at least it will be a time of full bellies and soft, sleek grey fur again. New flavors are waiting, just across the road and tiny claws scratch at the dry earth, waiting for the right second, for the signal to move forward.

~Kristen Gilpin 4.7.15

Find more regional gothic horror by other authors here.

On Feasts and Feasting

Here of the Chalice feast staff and servers. Probably 2013.
Photo by Jared Bluestein

A recent thread on the SCA Facebook group asked people to chime in with what they felt contributed to a 'bad' feast experience. The important stuff was there like under-cooked and unsafe food or food that has been burned. Yeah, no one likes that. It was nice to note the number of people who showed a preference for avoiding obviously modern foods and who understood that sometimes small mistakes can happen.

However,I have to say I was a bit alarmed and bothered by a number of the other responses. I don't wish to pick on any individual so names have been omitted, but here are a few comments that really caught my attention:

1.) Switching on the lights "just for a few minutes so we can clear up". Atmosphere = irretrievably gone. 

2.) Servers, imo, should eat first so they know what's being served. Went to a feast where the servers looked blank and said 'I dont know' when asked what something was. 

3.) Once with not enough food to serve the whole table, and bad servers. The food itself is always a toss up

Another person provided a substantial list of qualms:

1. Dishes that are period in content, but unpleasing to a modern palate
2. Long delays between removes, or separate dishes within a single remove not making it to the table at the same time
3.  No alternative for small children who likely want mac-n-cheese or a hot dog instead of some fancy hot dish
4. Too much food
5. Too little food
6. Not enough elbow room at the table
7. Dry sites
8. A rush to clean up and get out of the hall before site closes - inability to just sit and enjoy the meal  
9. A constant flow of interruptions (toasts, entertainers, announcements, etc.) that prevent casual conversation among the diners (background entertainment is fine, but asking the entire hall to stop what they are doing to pay attention is disruptive)
10. High prices

So, I help in kitchens fairly often. I serve feast pretty regularly. I have helped to set up crazy halls and stayed with other dedicated volunteers to do dishes until 2:00 am. Some of my dearest friends are SCA cooks who routinely turn out splendid and spectacular meals. Thus, I have a lot of thoughts about the feast process and I wanted to address a few of the 'issues' that were noted.

Modern Palate: We go to medieval recreation events to do medieval things, wear medieval clothes, make medieval arts, participate in medieval fighting and eat medieval food. Yep, it's possibly quite different from what you consider 'modern' food. Check the menu before the event and if it isn't posted, contact the cook. If food is being served that does not suit your palate then don't buy feast. We don't go to a restaurant with cuisine that we do not favor and expect to have an awesome meal. We usually just pick another place for dinner. Do that. You'll be much happier.

MayanMass Moot, 2012. Pre-columbian feast
with hall set as ruined Mayan temple and jungle.
Photo by: Jared Bluestein

Servers: Complaints were made about servers who were not attentive or 'nice' enough or who could not fully explain the food they are serving to a diner. Remember this: the servers at SCA feasts are volunteers. Many of them have been doing other things all day long at the event and are probably quite tired. They generally are serving you before they get a chance to eat. These servers are not professionals and they are receiving neither pay nor tip. They likely have not been in the kitchen all day and may not be able to explain the food which is why a hall steward should announce each course.

Feast service relies entirely on volunteer assistance. If the servers are unable to keep up with bringing all of the food to the hall at the same time, that means that they need more help. Get up. Offer to help. The SCA is a volunteer organization and we all need to pitch in every so often. I am a double peer and a baroness. I serve feast regularly and so do my associates, especially if word gets out that there are not enough servers for the meal. I have given up my seat at a feast to serve instead and then stayed to clear the hall and do dishes. If I can do it, you can too.

Allergies: I have food allergies. It is my responsibility to look at the menu in advance or contact the event cook to ask if there will be any problems for me or dishes I should avoid. If the feast is going to feature too many dishes I cannot eat, then I will bring my own dinner. Most cooks are happy to let you experience their hall even if you have to bring your own meal. Be realistic about eating feast if you have lots of allergies, are on a specialized diet, are a vegetarian, etc and don't expect a cook to cater just to you when turning out a meal for 50-200 people. It's unreasonable to ask.

MayanMass Moot, 2012. Pre-columbian feast
with hall set as ruined Mayan temple and jungle.
Photo by: Jared Bluestein

Children: If your kids are picky eaters, don't buy feast for them because they likely won't eat it. It is not the job of an event cook to provide for a child that only eats chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese while they are cooking for a large number of people. Bring food for your children from home or offsite. Contact the cook to see if you can seat your child at your table even though they will be eating outside food. You will likely be accommodated.

Costs: It seems that people in some places balk at a feast price over $5. Go to, say, Olive Garden for dinner. Split an appetizer with a friend, order an entree, a drink and a dessert for yourself. You are likely over the $15 to $20 mark. Where in reality can you get a multi-course sit down meal for less than $10.00? Pretty much no where. Don't expect SCA event cooks to turn chicken thighs to lamb shank for $8 a head. The food you are eating has to be purchased. Yes, cooks should do their level best to provide a meal that is not too costly but we need to be realistic. An adult can drop $10 at McDonalds for dinner. If cost is a concern for you, go offsite or plan ahead and bring your own food.

Dry sites: Some sites do not allow alcohol and this is not the fault of the event steward or the cook. If you require alcohol to have a good time at feast, perhaps the dry site isn't the problem...

Clean up: If there is a rush to clean up that means that your event has a set end time and the site rental likely stipulates a time your entire group must vacate site or the group will incur additional charges. If you'd like to stay later and chat then head to the parking lot, elsewhere on site (if your event has not ended) or offsite. Otherwise, volunteer to cover any additional fees and fines out of your own pocket. Additionally, if more people offer to help with cleanup it can be done faster. The people cleaning the hall are also volunteers who have likely been busy all day and would also like to get off their feet, go home, eat dinner or go to bed. They are not there to cater to any group of people who would like to linger.

In summary

MayanMass Moot, 2012. Pre-columbian feast
with hall set as ruined Mayan temple and jungle.
Photo by: Jared Bluestein

When you eat feast you are paying only for the cost of your food. You are eating a meal prepared by volunteers and served by volunteers in a hall that was set up by volunteers (sometimes over the course of 2 days for an extravagant setup) and will be cleaned up by volunteers at an event run entirely by volunteers. No one is making a single cent in the process of making your meal and serving it to you. People are donating their time and skill so that you can have a cool experience and likely, a good meal.

If feast isn't your thing, that's fine! You'll never be forced to go to a feast. If you are attending a feast, keep in mind the volunteer aspect of the SCA and that cooks learn more about making feast each time they produce a large scale meal at an event. Mistakes will happen. Something will go wrong every time, it's almost guaranteed. We are all human and are all playing at this crazy ideal of a dream in the same club.

Thank a cook. Thank your server. Thank the little boy with the pitcher of water. Thank the people who set up and clean the hall. Or, you can help and be part of making feast a good experience for yourself and everyone else.

Bartering and Alms

The barter system is alive and well if you are willing to believe in it. Occasionally I get a request for a commission piece and the request comes from someone who has a skill that I greatly admire and likely do not possess. This holiday season was one of those times.

A friend who is a tremendously talented weaver contacted me about calligraphing a poem for a friend. She sent me the text and some information about the recipient's likes: blue tones and cardinals. In return for this original piece, she offered in trade hand woven trim made especially to match a 13th century outfit I am planning for the SCA. Score!

The calligraphy is executed in opalescent blue ink on bristol board. The hand is inspired by the fonts that Frank Lloyd Wright used on many of his projects. After the calligraphy was completed, I used a wash of blues and pale grey over the whole page. Last, the tromp l'oeil feather and the cardinal tracks were added.

The poem is Alms by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, wife of aviator Charles Lindbergh. Anne was an aviator in her own right, and was an author of some hauntingly beautiful poetry. Not only did this work out as a nice trade between artists, but I was also introduced to the work of an excellent poet. I call this a win.

The last day of our acquaintance

"this is the last day of our acquaintance. I will meet you later in somebody's office. I'll talk but you won't listen to me. I know what your answer will be"          -Sinead O'Connor

I have decided that it is time for a change, so I am making one. 2014 has not been much of a good year to me. So much grief, loss, heartache, sickness and strife for both myself and my immediate circle of humans. It has been a year of trials and of tribulations, with only small joys to remind us that there may be good days yet to come.

What I have learned is a bit more about myself, namely who I want to be, and conversely, who I do not want to be in the future. I am taking that knowledge to heart and making use of it. What good is a lesson if not applied?

So, today, I am firing myself. This Kristen that is, well, just will not do. 

• I will work to close away the sadness and self loathing because I do not need them anymore.
• I will be more proactive about my health and wellness, dealing with issues that have crept in but been ignored. I am dissatisfied with my weight, so that is one of the things I am going to face no matter how daunting it might be.
• I will keep an eye out for a good partner for my life, but neither judge myself by their presence nor their absence. I am enough for myself.
• I will try to love myself a little bit more and to find ways to come to terms with the things I cannot change about me and to fix the things that I can adjust.
• I will not shirk from difficulty. Hard truths and real improvement are not born of comfort and sweet words. What I do, I do to improve myself and thus I will straighten my back, square my shoulders and lift my chin.
• Each day I will rise to meet the challenges that I may face. I will raise my eyes to meet the people around me. I will acknowledge myself as being at least as good as each of them and worthy of the same respect I would grant another.
• I will accept that I am a good person: that I am loved, that I have good qualities, that I have worth. I will attempt to treat myself as such.

So now, on to the next adventure.

In short: 

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot

     -Sylvia Plath 

Gerber Daisies and Black Ribbons

I was recently commissioned to create a piece for a wedding. My friends John and Maurissa were getting married and wanted a piece of art that they hang as a reminder of the joy and friends that shared their special day. At their request I created a set of signature pages where the wedding guests would be invited to add their names and help create a memory.

The wedding colors were black and white and the bride's bouquet was Gerber daisies in pink, orange, yellow and white. They expected to need about 110-115 signature lines and also wanted to include the names of some friends and relatives who had passed on but were in their thoughts on their wedding day.

I should have taken pictures of the pieces after they were matted in black but it was fairly late at night and I was pretty tired.

To the left is a detail from page one. Below you will find all three pages and another detail image at the bottom of this post.

The wedding was lovely: the bride was radiant, the groom beaming, the ceremony was sweet and just the right length and the reception was a great deal of fun with good food and karaoke. I'm glad I got to be there with my friends on their special day.

A Peek Inside My Heart

I do not mind who you love, that is your heart. I do not care to which god you pray, that is your faith. I do not think about the color of your skin or about where your ancestors arose, that is just history and DNA.

We are more than the sum of parts.

If you are good and giving, I will treasure you. If you are honest with me, I will give that to you in return. If you are kind and helpful, I will love you. 

If you are filled to brimming with hate, I have no place for you. If your words are poison, speak them somewhere else. 

Always try to be the best version of yourself that you can imagine. Inspire. Create. Live. Dream. Work hard. Love. Give. Help. Have joy. 

Those are the values that I value and the rest is just noise.

Unlaced.

This heart
is a cramped
and heavy place
best kept laced
tight as corsets
and gallows knots.

Just one small cut
an incision of doubt...
and of decision
and this one sharp point
applied with precision.

Yes.

Unlace my heart
and out tumbles sadness:

 an origami flutter
of folded thoughts
best left pressed in books
or tucked in cellar boxes.

 A scattering of pages,
cigarette ends
and dreams for all my ages.
Here a stamp,
there a heartbreak
with a scar
(oh I remember that night it was so...)

A handful of joy,
a dried bouquet of regret
(yes, I was 17 then... wasn't I?)
and the hopes of days
still promised yet.

All these scraps
and memories
shake out
into just one girl
(didn't she write poems?)

A star
collapsing
within a cage of bone.

(Quick, lace me up,
or someone might see...)

A girl
with a nova
inside of her chest.

Ripples and Grace

An attack of kisses.
Photo by Jared Bluestein

You toss a smile in the direction of a new person, loan someone a piece of garb, thank someone for their service, offer a word of encouragement, give people a chance to vent, lend a hand to cleaning, assist with a task, lead by example and you move on. Perhaps you receive a murmured 'thank you' or a smile in return, but mostly, you think no more on it. What you do not see immediately are the ripples that your words and deeds leave.

For me this was a strange weekend, because I was made to stand in place and have the ripples of my words and deeds pointed out to me, again and again. I was told to listen, told to see and I did. It was passing odd and a humbling experience. I was thanked and complimented by people whom I deeply respect, friends I have known for many years, those who I am still getting to know and also by several I have only recently met. It was a strange experience that left me teary eyed at times and often without any word of response other than a shocked and mumbled 'thank you'.

Compliments of any kind make me rather uncomfortable. I'm not good at receiving them and I know I need to work on that. As someone who believes in regularly giving compliments, thanking people and telling them how much they mean to me, I suppose I must learn to have more grace when receiving the same in my turn. I suppose I don't think myself very special. No work is beneath me. I'm not better than anyone out there. I'm just me, with all my virtues and my flaws which number fairly high. I care a great deal for my friends, I am loyal, I am a hard worker, I don't mind pitching in wherever help is needed. Sure, I have good qualities. But, to be regaled with a laundry list of my perceived virtues, good works and kind deeds left me rather flummoxed. 

The best way I think I can internalize this commentary is that those ripples that I have made in this small pond are all just reflections of the ripples that have affected me. I help because I was taught to help. I am kind to others because I was shown that the opposite was unacceptable. I leave a place better than I found it, because I was taught that lesson by example. I serve with joy because it was requested of me when I accepted a protege belt many years ago. I am merely a reflection of the bright light that has been shown upon me by the many remarkable people in my village. 

So, from now on, when I receive compliments, I will try to do so with grace, remembering that when I am complimented it honors those who have taught me. I am who I am because of them. My pond is filled with the ripples of their actions and each time I am thanked I can silently offer up my thanks to those who have inspired me. 

Creatively Tapped

Currently, three of my original pieces are hanging in a staff art show at my work. The show is entitled "Creatively Tapped" which was the suggestion I made of why I should be involved in picking a show name. The other artists on the planning committee found the comment funny, fitting and somewhat ironic and my mouthy retort became a show.

Sprites of Midway, Too Fond of Books and Litany Against Fear will be hanging for one more week in the gallery. Prints of these pieces are available at my Etsy store: Currant Thoughts.

Thalassia's Promissory Pelican

Photo by Jonathan Sidwell

It seems that we learn some of our best lessons from failure. This is a story of reaching for the stars and finding yourself just too short to reach.

We have a beautiful lady with a Greek persona who was to be elevated to the Order of the Pelican. A number of her friends that love her very much wanted to do something super special for her scroll, and I am sad to report that for the moment, at least, we have failed with an awesome project and had to punt with an ok project.

The idea was to make a piece of pottery, namely a Greek kylix. The lady for who the scroll is destined, Thalassia, is a wonderful hostess and really enjoys stuff that is useful- so we wished to create for her a scroll and piece of pottery that she could actually use while entertaining.

We wanted to illuminate it in the red figure style with images of Grecian life that reflect Thalassia's interests. A potter was secured and she tried so very hard, but the kylix just did not want to be. At nearly 12 inches in diameter, the pottery kept breaking in the kiln. The potter was heartbroken. Everyone involved with the project was just sad in general.

It is still our hope to find a potter who can make us a kylix, or that we can piece a piece of bisque that would work for our purposes. Somehow, we are going to make this happen. If you, gentle reader, do know a potter who can produce a 12" kylix bowl, handles and foot- please do feel free to drop me a line!

Now with the punting- We had about 8 days left before the elevation. Everyone was jammed up with projects and busy with a lengthy 7 week demo. We were exhausted and creatively tapped, but still we wanted to be able to hand our friend something. I think Finnguala came up with the idea of laying out the text in the shape of the urn. So, at a Ren Fest demo, this scroll was banged out. I took it home and finished the inking and calligraphy the next day.

Urn sketch: Mistress Finnguala

Text: Mistress Gwenllyan

Text layout: (soon to be Mistress) Milesenda

Calligraphy and inking: Mistress Maol

The finished product was simple, but elegant. Pretty in an understated way. We are still making that damned kylix, but for now- at least we were able to hand our lovely friend something, even if it wasn't what we were aiming for, precisely.

The Peer Reclamation Project

Author' note:

Hi, I'm the author. This post was written 5 years ago before a particular set of repeating patterns emerged in several kingdoms. I was writing about a very different problem of peerage drift which was leaving associates behind holding the bag and with fewer people left to inspire the kingdom. It had a time and place. Yes, there are many other issues that have risen up and no, I don't just want to reclaim Peers, it's just where I started with this project because I am a peer and at least have that in common to start a conversation. I would love to help anyone re-find their joy but I needed a place to start. My former Laurel and some old friends were my test cases. But, again, I'm happy to help anyone and think most of the post could apply to any former SCAdian.

The Problem

The SCA has a problem at the highest levels: long term retention among peers.

My Laurel, Master Iefan and me.

Pillars of various communities give, support and help through thick and thin while the aggravations continue to pile up against them. Irritating politics, a bad experience, being passed over for thanks- all of these little infuriations keep building up until one day, the peer realizes they are no longer having fun in the SCA. Maybe they are a knight who has aged out of being able to fight well, a Laurel who now feels irrelevant or extraneous, a Rose who no one asks to Champion, or a Pelican who no longer gets asked to help with projects. However it occurs, it does happen and we lose these treasures of our society in ones and twos, sometimes in clumps of friends who move on to other endeavors.

These exiting peers have vast and remarkable knowledge. They once contributed so much to the SCA that they were named peers, so they are or were experts at something. Since their elevation, the have probably helped as a community leader and likely have a broad skill-set that is so vast, you'd likely never even guess all of the things they know how to do. When we lose one peer, as a Society, we lose the breadth of their knowledge and the wealth of their expertise, but we also likely lose a few of their friends and associates who follow to different venues where they can continue to spend time with their friends. It is like a star that dims and then winks out leaving an empty spot in our Society.

Why Does This Matter?

No, peers are not the only people who matter in the SCA and I would never suggest that. However, retention at our highest levels is important to the continued growth of the SCA and peers often serve as the inspiration and awe that is needed to keep newer Society members interested in achieving and going the extra step. Without them, we lose our institutional knowledge, our oldest traditions and the Society becomes a little bit less for it.

We also lose our friends when peers leave. Once they are gone, people who used to spend time with those peers will likely miss them and then feel something is lacking in their own SCA experience which may cause them to look for new opportunities for joy.

The Peer Reclamation Project

The idea started as a joke years ago, when I started watching friends drift away from the SCA. Some of those friends who left were peers, and I watched the hole that was left in the fabric of the Society as they went away. Sometimes that hole was filled, but often knowledge or momentum was lost, setting an art or project back several years. Sometimes the hole left by the departure of a peer was never refilled, and the SCA just moved forward with a gaping empty space where something cool had one been. 

My Peer Reclamation Project (as I jokingly named it) was a mostly secret task force and ad-hoc campaign to "reform peers gone astray and bring them back as useful and contributing members of the Society". This sounds hilarious and silly, but look past the silliness of the idea and think carefully about the concept:

• What if we could reach out to those peers who still had connections in the SCA, as they were drifting away and try to catch them? 
• What if we could find out what made those peers happy and brought them joy and then helped them have chances to be part of those things again? 
• What if we could set up "play dates" for those peers to work with people who had similar interests or even senses of humor and helped them to make new connections within Society?
• What if we could keep a peer and help them find a new direction for their time spent in the Society?
• What if we could retain even just a few of these amazing individuals, and what if they also were glad again?

Answer: we could do a lot more and we could do it better.

So, my SCAdian friend, think about it: how many peers do you know that seem to be drifting away from Society. What knowledge, craft, tradition and friends will disappear with them if they take leave of the SCA? Do you like how that SCA looks to you? Maybe not. 

Think for a moment about the peers that have inspired you over the years who have already left the Society. What did their departure do to their friends, their local groups, their community, their Kingdom?

The Early Years are Important

Peerage can be hella rough on a new peer. Things change really quickly, and not always for the best. From what I have observed, we tend to lose a lot of new peers within 1-3 years of their elevation. The reality of peerage can be like a sucker-punch when you discover that this thing you have worked for is not really a cool accolade but is actually a job and it is a job that often sucks. There is no pay and you are expected to always perform at the highest level, without slowing down or making a mistake.

How Can You Help?

When you work with a new peer, no matter if you are an OD (Old Dragon) or shiniest of newcomers, please remember that they are new at this, don't have a ton of experience and don't have all of the answers. They are still learning and that really is part of the process. Treat them with the same respect that you want to receive. Maybe you can help inspire a peer to be even better.

Peers- 'partying' with exhaustion at 8pm.

The Longer Years

SCA Peerage is much like a job, but one day you realize that you have had this position for a while and there is no hope of promotion or raise. You don't get to retire. That's daunting. Unless a peer can find joy in working with associates or is self-motivating to an extreme, they may start to get bored or tired. After a few years of peers putting an awful lot of time and effort into the club, they might not be as enthusiastic as they once were and may not volunteer to help with things that they have already done dozens of times. They might be bored. There might be some friction with another member. They may no longer find joy in their original area of expertise. 

How Can You Help?

Remember that peers are people too. Be polite. Treat them as you want to be treated. Smile and compliment them as you would anyone else. Ask them what they like and enjoy. Find out what they still want to learn and what interests them. If you have the opportunity to work on a project that you think a drifting peer might enjoy, invite them to help. They probably also don't get a lot of invitations to just hang out with other SCAdians that they don't know well. Invite them for a local movie night, a game of blood-sport boccie, a potluck dinner, game night or whatever. They are people and they like all kinds of stuff.

Can't Catch 'em All

No, we can't get back every peer who has left the SCA. Some of them are too angry and are not over the hurt that made them leave. Some of them will have found other things that they enjoy more than the SCA and will have moved on. Some will have moved forward with their careers and families and may no longer have a space in their life for a club that takes up so much time. It happens. Don't badger people who tell you they are not interested in coming back to the SCA. It won't help the cause and it will likely just hurt your friendship. Sometimes, you just need to understand that they no longer want to be part of the SCA, and that that is entirely ok. Wish them well and try to keep up your friendship as there was probably a pretty good reason you were friends in the first place.

Be Welcoming

Returning peers may have a lot of trepidation and a bit of guilt hanging over them when they return. They likely fear the same situations that drove them away, like miserable politics or negative interactions with someone they did not enjoy their first time around. While they may have spent a few years changing, so likely have the people they left in the SCA. If you see someone returning to play that you used to have drama with, figure out if that drama even still matters. If it does not, why not drop it? Walk on up to the returning peer and introduce yourself and admit that a lot of time has passed. Create an opportunity to start fresh that will benefit both parties.

As pointed out to me by Earl Lorcan, returning peers may also feel a lot of guilt or that they have somehow shirked their responsibilities. Everyone needs time to themselves, even peers. Sometimes you need to get something else accomplished or get some clarity and perspective. Take a moment and let the returning peer know that you are glad to see them back. Don't make them feel more guilty, just make them feel welcome and help them edge back into the Society. 

Perspective

It's shocking how much perspective time can provide. After just 10 years of peerage, I've seen so much in Society change. I've watched people come, and friends go away. I walk around an event now, and sometimes realize that I don't know any of these new people that I see. When I wander past a campsite, I don't recognize anyone and don't wander in because I don't want to be a bother. How will I feel in another 10 years, 20? I have no idea.

What I do know is that I have met some of my best friends and most amazing family of choice in the SCA, and I don't want to imagine a future where this group of people isn't in my life. I'm choosing to keep myself involved and interested, surrounded by amazing people but I recognize that not everyone has that option. For now, I'm going to make the conscious choice to reach out to other peers when I have an opportunity and make sure that these people that I look up to and respect know that they are cared for, and that I am better just because they are in my life. In working to "reclaim a few peers", I have made and strengthened some incredible friendships and have gotten to know some truly amazing people on a new level. I also get to see those friends at SCA events, so I'm going to mark this as a 'win'.

Resolution

A pink color morph of Passiflora incense.
A very rare sighting.

This year I scoffed at the idea of a New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds, eat more vegetables, work more on my garden or something else that won't change my life and that I will set aside in just a few months. Instead I decided to resolve to be a better and happier me by working on my perspective on life. I sincerely believe that when I improve myself, I improve those around me and we all have a better time of it.

I resolve to love the little things that are good: to raise them up high and point them out to the world, to acknowledge even the smallest good deed or tiny flower that makes my life better. A delicious curry, a wash of roadside flowers, a smile from a friend. These actually are the best parts of life and I will celebrate them rather than overlook them.

I resolve to cherish my friends and give gifts of time and service over gifts of things: I will make the lives of those around me better through giving of myself and my talents rather than creating more clutter. I will be a better friend and in return I will have better friends who will do the same for me.

I resolve to not wallow in sorrow and grief and anger: when those emotions wash over me I will turn away from them and put effort toward finding something good instead. When sadness sweeps in I will push it aside and ask the people in my life for a thing that makes them smile and I am sure my smile will return.

I resolve to remind my friends that they are good and important and needed: when they are in need I will help them, when they are sad I will hold them and when I can do anything to make their lives better or easier- I will.

I resolve to not giving my time, thoughts or efforts to those people or things in my life that do not deserve them: people that cause strife, those who are cruel to others, projects that don't benefit anyone at all- these will not get my time and will not be allowed to burrow into me like cancer. They don't deserve my time and they will get none of it.

My art is hanging in an art show.

I resolve to be better than I have been. I resolve to choose happiness. I just have this one life and at the end I will think it much too short, so now is the time to fully inhabit every moment, to fully live every day and to fully love all of those who love me.

At the end of this year, if I stick to this resolution I am certain that I will be better for it.